1-23-12 Happy Monday!

Day 9 of reset is over, 13.2lbs down. I am semi-happy with that number, which sounds ridiculous, I know it is a great number.....but I am HUGE, and I just really thought my reset numbers would be HUGE, too....like some of the women who have lost 20+ pounds on reset.....I thought that would be me. At the pace I am going, I'll be lucky to get to 18lbs. It frustrates me because I have not cheated at all, and I have drank over a gallon of water every day (except one.)  And then I get mad at myself for being so negative about it because after all, I have lost 13.2lbs in 9 days....which should feel awesome! I intend to start exercising this week....and continue eating reset foods for a while longer to see if I can jumpstart this a little more. I am so heavy that I do not believe it will hurt me to exist on reset foods while exercising. I really hoped to end reset under 300lbs.....but it is quickly looking like I will fall short of that goal. On the upside, I am learning more about eating this way. Watched Forks over Knives yesterday and it was very enlightening. I don't think I will give animal protein up entirely, but red meat is almost non-existent to me already. I will continue to eat fish and chicken.

1-18-12 Cherry Tomatoes.....who knew?

So, today is day 5...weighed this morning....down 8.2lbs! I am SO big that I didn't think 8lbs would make a difference, and mostly they don't....however, my pants are not as tight for sure! I feel like I have been rocking reset....and I would say I haven't cheated, but....yesterday I have put half a banana in my pink drink drink #1 and promptly ATE the other half....still lost 1.6lbs, so today I ate the other half of the banana again! Other than that, I have not cheated...wait, well I haven't actually measured my protein portions, so I am probably getting more than 4oz, maybe 5 or 6....but it hasn't been enough to really tell. I haven't cheated on any C.R.A.P., which is amazing! I haven't even really wanted to. I will tell you that I bought cherry tomatoes for the first time and I kinda dig them, who knew! Last night I sliced cucumbers and tomatoes and put it in a little apple cider vinegar overnight and snacked on it today....THAT was tasty...and refreshing! I can honestly say this hasn't been as hard as I expected it to be. I did want a diet coke and chocolate last night, lol....but my husband talked me out of it...and I am glad he did!

1-16-12 Three days on reset, 4.8lbs down!

So I chose to start the program over the three day weekend, to give my body the adjustment period when I didn't also have to be at work. Day 1 was ok, had a funeral to attend in the middle of the day, so I didn't eat lunch.....snacked on veggies and really only had one meal around 5:30...at Cheddar's Restaurant, which was actually a great choice. I had the lunch portion of grilled salmon with carrots and broccoli. I also ordered a side salad, brought my own dressing!
Day two was more difficult, woke up with a horrific headache that lasted ALL day! It finally subsided as the evening progressed. I ate on a better schedule, sticking with pink drink 1 (aso had it on day 1.)  We made the carrot/cauliflower soup and it was tasty! Even my hubby liked it!
Today I woke up with more energy, accomplished alot before 9:00am and then went to the store to get a lime and a beet (the only two things I was missing for drink #3) came home and made that, it was MUCH better than I expected, just grittier than drink #1.....but I am afraid of drink #2. We actually went to the movies today....I thought that would be harder than it was. I am a movie popcorn (with layered butter) junkie....so I didn't know how smelling that would make me feel. I felt great about CHOOSING not to get any....and BONUS, going to the movies for a matinee and staying away from the concession stand is actually affordable, lol!
Tomorrow I start back to work, I am cautiously optomistic about the work week, I need to get much better at planning my meals so that I allow myself to be successful.

1-13-12 Tomorrow is the first day of my new lifestyle!

I have had my PINK program for a week or so, I got my nuwave oven and blenders. I ordered and recieved my stevia & hemp protein. I bought a tape measure (and used it, ugh) and I am going to start reset tomorrow!! I have cut down (not quite cut out) my diet coke....although I will not have another one after today! We are going out to tonight for my "last meal" which really means my last BAD meal....and probably buttered movie popcorn (which will also be cut out). I know most of you have already been doing the program for a while, so sorry for the references! So did you know that a standard tape measure is 60 inches? And.....I needed every one of those for the measuring of my hips! I guess the good side of that statement is that I didn't need a longer tape measure, lol. Do you know that 3 months ago I was looking at buying a "Big John" toilet seat so that it would be more comfortable for my big $SS! Now I am embarrassed to have that be my reality. I am so glad I DVR Dr. Phil every day and saw the ladies on the show. I do not want my reality to be "living large" magazine! I do not want to continue living this way....so tomorrow is the first day of my new lifestyle! Tonight....I am going to be BADDDDDDDD! Happy Friday the 13th!

1-9-12 Still Pre-PINK and almost out of Diet Coke!

Yes, I am still Pre-PINK. I had decided to begin the program once I have all my ducks in a row...including my new nuwave oven and blenders (that I now have a tracking number for, YAY).
I have also been fighting myself on whether or not to totally give up my diet cokes. I watched the live chats and saw Cynthia kind of go off when someone asked if they could continue drinking it....and I thought, hey it can't be THAT big a deal.....but then I started researching it. I am posting this journal so that when I get freaked out later and decide to have a soda, it will help me remember all the reasons why I won't be drinking it anymore. I would almost equate it to a drug addiction. I watch intervention all the time and see those people being confronted by their families to leave immediately and go straight to rehab....and they all seem to want to go get high.....just ONE MORE TIME! I completely understand that now. All this planning I have been doing before starting the program is my "JUST ONE MORE TIME." I have always stocked up on diet coke, I have a 2-liter bottle at work that is half gone...and at home I have one 2-liter bottle that is half gone and another full 2 liter bottle. I am going to finish them....and enjoy every last sip of it. I will not buy more. I am basically down to my last 4 liters of my "drug" and I plan on stopping cold turkey after that. I am so scared, more scared of the end of diet coke than of the new food and exercise lifestyle. I will be succesful! I am changing my life....I just haven't started yet. 4 liters to go!
http://blog.fooducate.com/2010/01/03/three-reasons-to-rethink-that-diet-coke-youre-about-to-drink/
http://blog.fooducate.com/2011/07/02/2-new-studies-diet-soda-leads-to-weight-gain-diabetes/
http://blog.fooducate.com/tag/diet-coke/
http://blog.fooducate.com/2011/12/13/a-diet-soda-a-day-if-the-ada-has-their-way/

1-6-12 Pre-Pink

I, like most us, saw the PINK method on Dr. Phil. I watch him all the time and when the PINK method was highlighted on his show.....I thought it sounded like something I might want to try. I just tucked that away in my mind and went on about my business. I have a few friends that I keep up with on facebook that have recently had some weight loss success....I watch their posts and feel every emotion from being happy for them, to anger, to jealousy, to worthlessness, to guilt. 

I know I need to lose weight. I know I don't feel healthy. I know my son is embarrassed at how big his mom is. I know my husband just had heart surgery....and that I could be headed down that road if I don't do something about the weight. I KNOW all of these things, yet I haven't had the proper mindset to do anything about it. 

My daughter was married in November, I had to wear my "fat" dress, because it was the only thing that fit me. I hated how I looked in all the pictures. I ate my way through the holidays, thinking that I might actually be getting truly depressed about my situation. My son starts talking about new year's resolutions and nags me about exercising. 

I am ready to lose weight. I am ready to change my eating habits. I am ready to exercise and start feeling healthier. I am not ready to share that with everyone. I ordered the PINK method in secret, planned to do it in secret and "show them" that I am more than just a fat person. I started viewing the forum in secret, watching the pre-recorded live chats....in secret. Why in secret? Lots of reasons....but if they all boil down to one thing....fear of failure. I am afraid that I will not be successful, that I won't be able to handle the workouts or stick with the plan....and if I hadn't told anyone, then no one but me will have to know what a failure I am. I still don't want to announce it to the world.....but I told my husband....he is wonderful and would never judge me, even if I were to fail. My son, not so ready for him to know, because he is 16 and does judge me, lol. 

I saw a friend of mine (who is losing weight with crossfit) say that she never plans on sitting on the couch, watching the biggest loser.....instead she is becoming her own biggest loser. I want that. I watch those people, I watch my friend, my sister, my cousin....who have all had dramatic weight loss and I want to be like them. What is stopping me? Me. That's it, just me.....I am the only one who can change it. I am ready for that change....I am ready to not be on the couch watching other people lose weight while I eat until I am miserable. 

I decided to order the program. What I like about it is that it is especially for women. Sure, the men in my life will eat healthier by default, since I cook for them....but this is something that is just for me. Yesterday I received the program. It is all I have been thinking about, that and failure...what if I fail....that haunts me....but not as much as what if I don't try. 

I also ordered the nuwave oven, blenders, hemp protein, stevia....not all of it has arrived yet.....so I am waiting to start....wanting all of my ducks in a row to help me be successful. I still need to buy a new scale, a measuring tape...and figure out how to take horrifc pictures of my disturbingly fat body when no one else is home, lol. 

Maybe by next week I will be prepared enough to begin. Until then, I am going to read my book, particpate in the forums, and the facebook groups and dream about being healthy.

Two and a half years later............

I just read my post from 2010....obviously I had good intentions of starting a weight loss program then. 

Now it is 2.5 years later.....probably a good idea to update my blog? 

I had actually forgotten about that blog post. I have been blogging for the past year (since January, 2012) on a different website....and I wanted to move my blog posts and pictures here, where I thought they could do some good for other people. Too bad I never updated my weight that day in 2010. What I do know is that I stayed over 300lbs until January of this year. 

I watched Dr. Phil in November 2012 and saw him talking to women and a nutritionist about a new plan called The PINK Method. Dr. Phil is very good at opening my eyes, he has such a way with words. One thing he said that has resonated with me was that this: You have to decide that you cannot live with your current situation for another second of another minute of another hour of another day. Well I couldn't. I needed to change. I ordered the PINK Method, worried that I would be wasting money....that I couldn't or wouldn't succeed. That I would be that fat for the rest of my life. 

At first I didn't even want to tell my husband or my children that I was planning on starting a program. I was afraid that if I told them and then didn't follow through, I would be a failure. A failure not only to myself, but now to other people as well. Turns out that eating healthy and exercising isn't very easily hidden, haha. Actually, having them in on my "secret" was the best thing. My husband has been on this journey with me. 

I will be posting my blogs from the PINK Method site right here, in order.....so my journey can be documented in one public place, with progress pictures. I am proud of where I am today and want to share it with other people, maybe I can motivate someone else.