1-14-13 It's My Anniversary!!!!! (and I don't mean to the hubby)

WOW, it has been a year! A year of living a healthier lifestyle. This milestone is huge for me, you see I am usually a quitter. When I started this a year ago I didn't want to tell anyone I was doing it.....so that when I quit, no one would know.....except me. 

My emotions this morning are all over the place. I am so happy that I didn't quit. I am so scared that I can still fail. I am proud of myself. I am disappointed in myself, too. I play the "what if" game with myself all the time. What if I had not cheated along the way, where would my numbers be then. I am so grateful for each and every person I have met along the way, you guys have truly become part of my journey.

Well today is  a day to celebrate my victories, not beat myself up about "what if!" There are a lot of victories, some big and some small. I have loved experiencing all of them. My biggest victory isn't even the weight loss. My biggest victory is finally believing that I am worth it....and because I put myself in a position to succeed, I am succeeding! So what have I lost in a year?

::drumroll::

104 pounds!!

Ahhh, 104 pounds! I started out wearing sizes 24w and 26w in pants and 32w shirts. Today I am wearing a pair of size 14 pants and an xlarge shirt. I bought them in a regular store! I re-read my post from a year ago, and I had a 60 inch tape measure and that is what my hips measured. Definitely going to need to re-measure today!

A year ago I stepped on the scale and I weighed 319.2 pounds. Today I stepped on the scale and weighed 215.2 pounds. I haven't made it to onederland yet, but I will. I have no idea what my end goal weight will be....because I cannot remember ever being under 200 pounds, I don't know what it will be like to be in the 100's.

I may have lost some weight, but I have gained so many other things. I have gained the confidence in myself that allows me to keep going. I can exercise, I did 3.5 miles yesterday and 2.25 miles this morning....I can remember being out of breath just bending over to tie my shoes or walking from the house to the car! I used to go into a coughing, wheezing fit when I laughed, now when I laugh....it is just laughing....instead of sounding like I am about to have a heart attack (which I probably was about to have)!

I am happy that my family can be proud of me. My son used to tell me I was lazy and fat and that I should get off the couch and lose weight. That did not make me want to lose weight, it made me want to eat cheese puffs! But he is a teenager, without a filter....what he thinks, he says. I especially did not want him to know I was trying to lose weight....because when I failed (and I was sure I was going to) I didn't want to hear him tell me what a fat, lazy, unmotivated person I was. Well now, he tells me that I look great....sometimes he walks by and I will be wearing something that looks good and he might say "damn, mom.....you have lost SOOO much weight" or I hear him brag to his friends about my weight loss. It feels good. As much as it felt crappy to hear him tell me I was fat, he was right. I love that he is proud of me now. My daughters are both so proud, too....and to hear my 19 year old gush about my sweater and my boots....felt awesome. My husband is an angel.....he would never say anything about how fat I was, not to me or anyone else.....but as the pounds came off (of him and me) I know how proud he is.....and he is my biggest supporter! So I wanted to share this fun family photo with you guys. It was taken in November, on Thanksgiving to be exact. I have only lost 5 more pounds since this picture was taken. (the holidays have been a big struggle!)

With 2012 came my first 5k race....and I have to say, it is kind of addicting! I plan on doing at least one race a month in 2013. My January race is right around the corner! The Graffiti Run in San Antonio on the 27th! February we are doing a race for the Rape Crisis Center in San Antonio....and then in March....doing the Dirty Girl Mud/Obstacle course in Austin (very excited about that one!)

I feel giddy, this anniversary feels so happy, better than any birthday I can remember! I will do another post very soon with my measurements and an official side by side picture from a year ago and from today.  Until then.........THINK PINK!

1-3-13 Post Holiday / Post Vacation (What did it cost me)

Happy New Year! That is actually the first time I have been able to say "Happy New Year" and mean it! Usually the New Year brings resolutions....and usually two weeks later, they are out the window!

I always hated when someone would ask me if I had a New Year's Resolution.....because to me that was code for "Geeez, you are so fat, shouldn't you be making a resolution to lose weight"

I have been a weight loss failure my entire life. That is, until last year. 2012 was VERY good to me. I lost over 100 pounds in 2012. It was a lot of hard work....but so worth it. And you know what, I did it all without a resolution to do it. I didn't make a resolution, because to me, that meant failure. I didn't even start on the 1st or the 2nd like a lot of people. I started my lifestyle change on January 14, 2012. Just a random friday, when I was ready. 

I think that is the key, you have to be ready. I armed myself with the tools to be successful and then decided to be successful. The Pink Method was perfect for me. It allowed me to find my way to success. I owe such a debt of gratitude to Cynthia Pasquella for changing my life last year. Allowing me to look forward to the new year with a sense of pride and accomplishment for 2012. Three days into 2013 and I have so much promise in what I can accomplish this year....and I will do it all without a resolution. I have goals, some big, some small. My most immediate goal is to lose the 5 pounds I gained over the holiday/vacation! I am already down 2 of them and have 3 to go!

I still struggle every day with temptation. Temptation to eat crap. Temptation to be lazy. Temptation to say "the hell with it, it is too hard!" But then I look at where I was.....and see where I am going...and I know that I am worth it, and I can do it. I will kick 2013's ass!