Friday, November 23, 2012

11-14-12 10 Months In...feeling happy! 95lbs gone!!

Well, it is that time again, the time to measure my monthly anniversary. 10 months of PINK, 95lbs lighter....feeling pretty good about that.

This is where I tend to start giving myself negative talk....if I would have exercised more....if I hadn't had made a few bad choices on my food....I could already be down 100lbs or 120lbs. Well, not today. Today I am giving myself a pat on the back....95lbs in 10 months is a pretty great accomplishment.....I'll take it, because I have earned it. Have I been perfect every day? Not even close! But I have never stopped...and I have never given in....and I am not going to be the fat girl that I have been my whole life. I am not going to let the fat version of myself dominate my thoughts, or my actions.

I still HATE to exercise, but I do it 6 days a week almost religiously now. I have found what works for me, and it is early morning....get up, get it out of the way and go on about my day. Some days I exercise again in the afternoon....but whether I do or not, I have at least done it once that day. I don't think I will ever be the girl who says she loves to workout....but I am the girl that knows she has do it, so it gets done.

I have changed, that is for sure. I do have more fitness type I want to be able to jog in 5ks, not walk them, but jog them. I am working on that, but it will take me a while. I am doing the couch to 5k program and I am on week 4....for the second time. I do not think I am ready yet for week 5.  I can jog for 3 minutes straight right now, the 5 minute jogs still get me....I get through them, but it is tough.

I signed up for the Dirty Girl Mud Run in March, an obstacle 5k for women only, not timed, just for fun. I am very excited about it. I have never in my life done anything like that. I bought new jeans and pants this month....size 16, regular store. THAT felt amazing. Being limited to the fat girl stores feels bad, feels second rate, feels like failure to me. Being able to go into a regular store, to the regular sizes and buy was very liberating. I want to wear even smaller clothes, I want to be so firmly into regular sizes that I don't have to wonder if it will fit, but rather which size will fit.

So last month my weigh-in was 230.8. Today I weighed in at 224.2. That is 6.6lbs for the month and a grand total to date of 95lbs. I am 5lbs from my next charm on my weight loss charm bracelet. and 5lbs away from 100lbs lost. I still have a way to go, but I am so much closer to the finish line than the start line, and that feels amazing. My mini-goal is to lose 100lbs inside of a year....I have 2 months left.....think I can do it?

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